Friday, October 24, 2008

Thomas and Alexander Part Deux

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The Adventures of Thomas and Alexander

Part Deaux


The last we heard from Alexander, he'd been caught at the bar (wine tasting). This upset Sandi so she threatened Alexander with the paper shredder. Alexander, offended, ran out the front door.....stupid damn pumpkin.........



We learned that Alexander voluntarily admitted himself into a rehab program at a center called Hillbilly Rehabilitation Center and Flea Market up in Rutledge, Missouri. We also learned that Alexander, after one week of rehab, walked off the property and no one knows where he went, but someone overheard him tell someone else, who overheard that person tell the nurse, who told the janitor, who told the grief counselor, that he was headed south to N. Missouri.



Along the way, Alexander encountered some serious trouble and not knowing what to do in this particular situation he decided to give Thomas a call and see if he had any idea's.





"Yo, Thomas......Alex here.......uh.......I've got this little problem and I'm not sure how to handle it so I thought I'd give you a ringy ding and see if you could help me out".



"Alex!! Where the hell are you man........Sandi is PISSSSSSED"!




Alexander says"That's the problem, dude, I have no idea where I'm at and all of the sudden, outta the blue, these two guys show up, dude..........and dude, they don't look very happy to see me".



Thomas says, "Uh, what guys?"



Alexander says, "THESE GUYS". "They've been stalking me for hours and I don't know what to do to get rid of them".






"Holy Fly Rod, Alex"! "Those are the nefarious Jace Boys, Tonto and Fontenot". "Those two are at the top of the FBI's Most Wanted list!"



Meanwhile, Tonto and Fontenot were trying to come up with a plan to capture ole pumpkin boy. They needed some Halloween decorations, and Alexander fit the bill to a tee.



"Ugh, Tonto." "We find good hidem place and jump out and scare crap outta pumpkin".



"Ugh, Fontenot". "Good idea, let's go". "I see perfect place to hide".




Meanwhile, Thomas and Alexander are trying to hatch a plan to get Alexander outta there.



"Thomas" said Alexander. "I think I need a margarita with lots of salt, on the rocks". "Yes, that would be nice".



"I'll tell you what would be nice Alexander!" "Shut your pumpkin face and listen to me". "You're fixin to need more than a margarita if you don't get outta there pronto"!! "Do you see any tree's where you're at?"



"Yeah, Thomas....there are tree's".



"When Tonto and Fontenot aren't looking, you need to skitter up one as fast as you can".



When Alexander was safely ensconced up the tree he said to Thomas, "You ain't gonna believe this, Tommy ole boy". The Jace Boys are trying to hide from me too"!


"Ugh, Tonto". "Where pumpkin boy"? I don't see him anywhere".




"Ugh, Fontenot". "Me have no idea where pumpkin boy is. It your idea to hide here and now we've lost him". "Me know better than to listen to you". "Now you've ruined everything you idiot indian"!




"Thomas, I think I've lost them". "I don't see them anywhere". "Oh, wait"! "There they are". "Tonto is kicking Fontenot's ass"! "I'm gonna make a run for it while I can".







As Alexander runs as fast as he can over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother's house he goes........oh wait..........wrong story. Alexander is dashing across the grassy knoll when he suddenly see's something that terrify's him even more than the indians.




It's......it's.......it's...........drum roll, please...........







Captain Billy Bob Sparrow!!!!






............stay tuned for more exciting adventures of






Thomas and Alexander!!!!!!


I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my agent in Hollywood for allowing me the privilege of publishing this story. I'd also like to thank my ex-sister-in-law (waaaay to many hyphens here), Jennifer for trusting in me. She taught me everything I don't know. And a special thanks to Jace over at Sawdust and Cowpies (they've got stripping going on over there!!!) for allowing (JENNIFER DID IT!!) us to steal his photo's!!!

18 comments:

Cowguy said...

I just laughed so hard my pancreas shot out of my nose.

You two ain't right. LOL

PS loved the Indian pics! :-)

Susie said...

Oh my gosh!!! You are waaaaay to funny this early in the morning:-) Hee, hee, hee. Great story:-)

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

You all are too funny.

wolfqueen2 said...

This reminds me of stories I use to tell my children. I needed that chuckle this morning. Thanks

a.men said...

Very funny!

Lauren said...

Love the carrie bumper you created. Stop by for my entry and caption this contest. :-)

Jennifer said...

LOL--that was fun!

~~tonya~~ said...

Too funny!! TFS

BoufMom9 said...

LOL Very funny! Thanks for the smiles this early in the day :)

Matt's Miscellany said...

Very funny. Thanks for the laughs.

gingela5 said...

Haha...so funny!

Rhonda said...

Okay, that's just a riot! I'm thinking that perhaps therapy may help... Or is THIS your therapy? lol

Princess said...

where are the elephant puffs???

Michelle J said...

Great story!!

I am laughing and giggling at the same time!!!

Is that even possible?

Vodka Mom said...

omg. That is TOO DAMN funny!! jesus.

manic mariah said...

Those guys totally stalk me too! They are all over the blogesphere being all romantic and stuff.
Oh, sorry, this is insane mama and this is my new blog. Please update your blogroll and pass it on.. THANKS!

Rhea said...

OMG, someone lost their pancreas! Well, I laughed out my spleen then...or my kidney. That was pretty kooky but funny and creative.

LYDIA said...

I just want that handbag! SO CUTE!